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samuel:

  • Nov. 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 PM
beams
Sometimes we ask God to move, to act, to perform miracles for every little thing in our lives. If u'd understand, what we actually want of God, is a perfect world, is for Heaven to come down straight away. But we're sinners.in a sinful world. no more than that. Never confuse God with life on earth.
Life is not God. God is beyond that. Life can be unfair, can be painful. I can curse the unfairness of life, and vent all my hurts and complaints. But I believe God feels the same way -grieved and angry. Sometimes we tend to think that life should be fair because God loves me. But if we confuse God with the reality of life -- by expecting constant good things on our life for example, then we're setting ourselves up for disappointments.
God's love does not depend on the good things in life. Ironic as it may seem, God is more than that. God's love for us is more than our physical hurts and problems. He cares more abt our spiritual lives. Din Jesus ask which is more impt for the sick? to be healed or to be forgiven? Not everything in life is good. Some are good, some are bad. we live by faith that in All things, He works for the good for those who love him. Our good is not defined by us, but by He who created us and know us. If we develop a relationship with God apart from our life circumstances, then we may be able to hang on when the physical reality breaks down. We learn to trust God despite all the unfairness of life.


Her Last Prayer

[Girl
16/17 years old
Asia
1970s

The Communist soldiers had discovered their illegal Bible study.
As the pastor was reading from the Bible, men with guns suddenly broke into the home, terrorizing the believers who had gathered there to worship. The Communists shouted insults and threatened to kill the Christians. The leading officer pointed his gun at the pastor's head. "Hand me your Bible," he demanded.

Reluctantly, the pastor handed over his Bible, his prized possession. With a sneer on his face, the guard threw the Word of God on the floor at his feet.

He glared at the small congregation. "We will let you go," he growled, "but first, you must spit on this book of lies. Anyone who refuses will be shot." The believers had no choice but to obey the officer's order.

A soldier pointed his gun at one of the men, "You first."

The man slowly got up and knelt down by the Bible. Reluctantly, he spit on it, praying, "Father, please forgive me." He stood up and walked to the door. The soldiers stood back and allowed him to leave.

"Okay, you!" The soldier said, nudging a woman forward. In tears, she could barely do what the soldiers demanded. She spat only a little, but it was enough. She too was allowed to leave.

Quietly, a young girl came forward. Overcome with love for her Lord, she knelt down and picked up the Bible. She wiped off the spit with her dress. "What have they done to Your Word? Please forgive them," she prayed.

The Communist soldier put his pistol to her head. Then he pulled the trigger.

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. Psalms 116:15

blankness

  • Nov. 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 AM


does not need to be forced it ought to come just like that
(i wish)


I will focus on You and You alone.
Nothing else shall matter, no matter how much my heart tells me otherwise. 
 

"the past is a great darkness, and filled with echoes. Voices may reach us from it; but what they say to us is imbued with the obsucrity of the matrix out of which they come; and, try as we may, we cannot always decipher them precisely in the clearer light of our own day." - The Handmaid's Tale

i have a problem

  • Sep. 25th, 2008 at 10:07 PM


my computer and itunes have FAILED to detect my ipod. after much help from jerry and the applediscussionhelpdunnowhatthing i have come to the conclusion that my wire is spoilt. what should i do? should i buy a new wire or should i get one second hand? i may get a new mp3 next year, and its probably going to be another ipod. SIAN.
ipods are horrid. they cost a lot and spoil easily and most of what is paid is for the brand especially if you're not even using mac. :(:(:(
GAHHHH.
*chiku sign

**edit: i did a soft reset and the stupid thing suddenly worked again ._.

<3

  • Sep. 12th, 2008 at 11:38 PM
The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till i see you face to face,
grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in You

With all i am i live to see Your Kingdom come
And in my heart i pray You'll let Your will be done
And till i see You face to face
Your grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in You

i will live, to love You
i will live, to give You praise
i will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till i see you face to face
Your grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in You

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with ALL I AM 
my soul will BLESS YOUR NAME
 

random, just to share la.

  • Aug. 26th, 2008 at 9:15 PM
that day for the GP prelims, mr perry came in and dictated 5 questions. and i didn't know how to do a single one, so i decided to run away. somehow i landed in a circus, and i had become UTT the male person (star?) who's like the advert person in some busstops. then something happened and i pissed someone off (i think he was a pirate) and he wanted to poke me with his sword so i ran away at the speed of light. then i hid in the closet(i couldn't fit well i had morhped into utt remember so i was a lot taller) so that he wouldn't see me and i remember being really scared because he was so scary.  and the i heard him edge nearer to the closet (i think i could literally smell him) and i remember being REALLY REALLY scared and then dijie called and i woke up so everything was alright.

Jul. 31st, 2008

  • 9:02 PM
beams
 God will make a way
when there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see, 
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
hold me closely to his side
with love and strength for each new day 
He will make a way
He will make a way

Heaven and earth will fade
but His word will still remain 
He will do something new today

'Nächste haltestelle, prelims.'

  • Jul. 30th, 2008 at 12:15 AM

Mr. Burge gave me LATECOMING FOR 15th and 16th JULY. OF WHICH BOTH DAYS I WAS IN GRAZ. this brings my demerit points to a grand total of 6, 4 of which i deserve and shall attempt to clear tomorrow, at CS.

was just listening to 11-17 lullaby and pamugun - emotions overwhelm me. therefore i do not blog about it, or Graz, for that matter.

before i leave

  • Jul. 12th, 2008 at 2:23 PM


and also, anyway, i was listening to the 2004 Bremen choir olympics recordings - they're not as bad as what we heard yesterday. they sound great. and i do believe they're even more impressive live, simply because the alumni is so much more versatile and emotive than us. 
but doesn't mean we're not good :) i do wonder what will happen after the trip. all i know is, i'm glad i'm going and i don't ever want to regret any decisions i make.
anyway this isn't meant to be an emo post, just some thoughts. i need to recollect all my thoughts and keep them in order. 

oh yes. and also, i'm going to Austria, Graz, from tonight till the 22nd. so please don't call me very expensive!

Tags:

Jun. 4th, 2008

  • 10:16 AM

I’m stuck at home! Hahah my mum wants to cook lunch today so I can’t go out yet and I was supposed to meet someone in school! Even though I’ll see her later in the afternoon I still feel bad so official apology, if you read my blog! Sorry dear! >.< anyway, yesterday was pretty interesting. I went to study with my friend at Holland V before heading down to cine to meet others to catch ironman. Hahah I saw fungg and tracee and huiying, but didn’t get to talk much to them. hmmm I realized I really miss the CG seniors L like tracee fungg huiying Yvonne jon and more more more. :S  On another note, ironman was interesting! No spoilers, but I wanna be like Pepper ahahah she’s super stylo-milo :D

Jun. 1st, 2008

  • 4:12 AM

this is very bad i have tendencies to fall asleep and wake up at odd hours of the night. i shall try to go back to sleep instead of doing nothing online. zzz. meanwhile, CHENJIANYI i miss you :(:(:(:(  

koped off a blog

  • May. 29th, 2008 at 12:32 PM

 Does my heart ache and break when you're sad?
Then it's Love.


Am I attracted to others, but stay with you faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love.

Do I accept your faults because you're a part of who I am?
Then it's Love.

Do I cry for your pain, even when you're strong?
Then it's Love.

Do your eyes see my true heart, and touch my soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love.

But do I stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls me close and holds me?
Then it's Love.

Would I give you my heart, my life, my death?
Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures me so,
why do I Love?
Why is it all I search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all I long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love

its over

  • May. 28th, 2008 at 10:17 PM
beams
Things said cannot be unsaid. Wounds can never fully recover because the scars will remain forever. I could choose to dwell in my self-pity. Or I could choose to believe that even though physically, what's done cannot be undone, God can heal my heart. I know I can protect myself, I can harden my heart and I can keep my vulnerability to myself. But I know God wouldn't want me to. He'd want to me feel this world, to take fully, to give fully, to love fully, to live fully. So this is what I'm going to do. I'm giving you my heart, and this time, no matter what you want to do with it, I will let you, and I will still love you. I don't believe you can reciprocate my love with anger, frustration and annoyance forever.  I choose to love you, and by faith I know you will love me as much as I love you one day. And I know God will make this work, I know He will. I have faith. J

no wonder

  • May. 28th, 2008 at 12:43 AM
i think what xiangyu said makes much sense. the best way to be convicted of God's reality is to see His hand and His creation. God's plan is unbelievable.
and what can i say but to praise your name, and to call you my Lord, Father, Lover and Best Friend? 

i am very afraid of music.

hmmm

  • Apr. 20th, 2008 at 9:29 PM

what does it mean to love somebody? 
can you love more than one person at a time, and how can you say that you really love a person if you can divide your love into so many portions?

to you,
i almost cried for you today.

ahhhh

  • Mar. 28th, 2008 at 10:42 PM

 Blocks are finally over! I have been extremely lag in updating because my laptop has died and I have to time to travel to Kallang to get it repaired L Choir concert is coming soon and I am going to be spectacularly busy!

I’ve been reading quite a bit recently, and I’ve rediscovered my love for reading. Reading is just so different from any other activity. J It’s been a long time since I’ve read for leisure, and I really regret I didn’t have time to do much reading when I was back in RV. But its fine its fine reading is a life-long habit and chance anywayJ

Okay I need to go back to being busy! Busy busy busy like a bumble bee!

 

i miss choir!

  • Mar. 20th, 2008 at 3:18 PM
 
I have not started mugging for history = L
I slept all the way from 8 in the evening yesterday till one thirty p.m. today = L
Papers were killers (at least for me) = L
I might not meet minimum 4 Es = L
Tomorrow is Good Friday = JJJJ
I am going to start studying history after this entry = J?
Evaxing yesterday with Kelly was fruitful = JJ
Service on Saturday!!! = JJJJ
I might get econs tuition to save myself from being despised further by Mr. Barnard = J
I end blocks in a few days and can go shopping = J!
I have no $$$ to buy what I want to = J(?) because I don’t need those things anyway
 
Essentially my week passed in a blur. Everyday felt like I was waking up to a dream, if you get what I mean. It was as though my sub-consciousness took over and my brain just went flat on battery. L So it was pretty odd for me and I think I might have said and did weird stuff during the week, so please pardon me. I need to wake up from this dream otherwise I cannot answer exam questions properly! Maybe it’s due to a lack of sleep, or perhaps too much sleep or something. Rarr I am not making sense again. Never mind never mind I will go and sleep later.
 
I love you, I need you, though my world may fall I’ll never let you go. My Saviour, my closest friend, I will walk with you until the very end <33
Yay thankyou God for your faithfulness and love, I love you okayJJ