the past few days i've been spending time alone quite a bit, firstly because i was(am) sick and secondly because i've got some thinking to do. after joining FCBC i've been challenged so much to think about the way i'm leading my life and about my purpose in life and i thank God that He is with me through all these. i never know what to say to people who are sad except to listen to them, so i guess when i'm sad, all i want is a listening ear too. there are so many things to think about and so many decisions to make sometimes i don't know why i've got to go through all these but i think i can say that i cannot go on living my life sitting on the fence anymore and it all boils down to what i believe and what i want to do with this life which has been entrusted to me.
Life is not God. God is beyond that. Life can be unfair, can be painful. I can curse the unfairness of life, and vent all my hurts and complaints. But I believe God feels the same way -grieved and angry. Sometimes we tend to think that life should be fair because God loves me. But if we confuse God with the reality of life -- by expecting constant good things on our life for example, then we're setting ourselves up for disappointments.
God's love does not depend on the good things in life. Ironic as it may seem, God is more than that. God's love for us is more than our physical hurts and problems. He cares more abt our spiritual lives. Din Jesus ask which is more impt for the sick? to be healed or to be forgiven? Not everything in life is good. Some are good, some are bad. we live by faith that in All things, He works for the good for those who love him. Our good is not defined by us, but by He who created us and know us. If we develop a relationship with God apart from our life circumstances, then we may be able to hang on when the physical reality breaks down. We learn to trust God despite all the unfairness of life.
Her Last Prayer
[Girl
16/17 years old
Asia
1970s
The Communist soldiers had discovered their illegal Bible study.
As the pastor was reading from the Bible, men with guns suddenly broke into the home, terrorizing the believers who had gathered there to worship. The Communists shouted insults and threatened to kill the Christians. The leading officer pointed his gun at the pastor's head. "Hand me your Bible," he demanded.
Reluctantly, the pastor handed over his Bible, his prized possession. With a sneer on his face, the guard threw the Word of God on the floor at his feet.
He glared at the small congregation. "We will let you go," he growled, "but first, you must spit on this book of lies. Anyone who refuses will be shot." The believers had no choice but to obey the officer's order.
A soldier pointed his gun at one of the men, "You first."
The man slowly got up and knelt down by the Bible. Reluctantly, he spit on it, praying, "Father, please forgive me." He stood up and walked to the door. The soldiers stood back and allowed him to leave.
"Okay, you!" The soldier said, nudging a woman forward. In tears, she could barely do what the soldiers demanded. She spat only a little, but it was enough. She too was allowed to leave.
Quietly, a young girl came forward. Overcome with love for her Lord, she knelt down and picked up the Bible. She wiped off the spit with her dress. "What have they done to Your Word? Please forgive them," she prayed.
The Communist soldier put his pistol to her head. Then he pulled the trigger.
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. Psalms 116:15
does not need to be forced it ought to come just like that
(i wish)
I will focus on You and You alone.
Nothing else shall matter, no matter how much my heart tells me otherwise.
"the past is a great darkness, and filled with echoes. Voices may reach us from it; but what they say to us is imbued with the obsucrity of the matrix out of which they come; and, try as we may, we cannot always decipher them precisely in the clearer light of our own day." - The Handmaid's Tale
my computer and itunes have FAILED to detect my ipod. after much help from jerry and the applediscussionhelpdunnowhatthing i have come to the conclusion that my wire is spoilt. what should i do? should i buy a new wire or should i get one second hand? i may get a new mp3 next year, and its probably going to be another ipod. SIAN.
ipods are horrid. they cost a lot and spoil easily and most of what is paid is for the brand especially if you're not even using mac. :(:(:(
GAHHHH.
*chiku sign
**edit: i did a soft reset and the stupid thing suddenly worked again ._.
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till i see you face to face,
grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in You
With all i am i live to see Your Kingdom come
And in my heart i pray You'll let Your will be done
And till i see You face to face
Your grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in You
i will live, to love You
i will live, to give You praise
i will live a child in awe of You
You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And till i see you face to face
Your grace amazing takes me home
i'll trust in You
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with ALL I AM
my soul will BLESS YOUR NAME
when there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
hold me closely to his side
with love and strength for each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
Heaven and earth will fade
but His word will still remain
He will do something new today
was just listening to 11-17 lullaby and pamugun - emotions overwhelm me. therefore i do not blog about it, or Graz, for that matter.
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